The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

Jane Doe

The Gist: Late one night Tommy Tilden (Brian Cox) and his son Austin Tilden (Emile Hirsch), a coroner and medical technician in a family run business, are brought a Jane Doe (Olwen Catherine Kelly) found under unusual circumstances. As the pair work to determine the cause of death strange things begin happening around them and even stranger things are found within Jane Doe.

Well, this was definitely a gross but very spooky mood inducing flick. Gross because, you know autopsy. The Tilden family Morgue and Crematorium has been in the family for 200 years and passed down from generation to generation but that legacy is potentially about to end as son Austin has decided that he doesn’t want to continue the gruesome career of a coroner. Heading out to spend time with his girlfriend, Austin decides to stay with his Dad when the local sheriff brings in a Jane Doe late one night. The sheriff looks spooks and wants a cause of the death that night. Thus begins the 4 stages of the autopsy and a waking nightmare neither Tilden could ever believe is real.


SPOILERS: I went into this flick knowing almost nothing about it and enjoyed the reveals and strange things that the pair unveil as they dissect the woman who is showing no physical signs of trauma and is completely unmarked on the outside. As they work they find anomalies within but not what one expects. Missing tongue, abnormally small waist but going inside reveals more oddities like blackened lungs, a piece of a shroud with Roman numerals written on it and one of her teeth wrapped in that shroud and when they peel back her skin, tattoos where there couldn’t possibly be any. Add to the already unsettling circumstances is a storm brewing outside (did I mention that the morgue is in the basement of the house) and weird sounds, flickering lights and shadowy silhouettes and you have an atmospheric, haunting flick.


Final Thoughts: This is one of those movies that has a small cast and uses the majority of the screen time to focus on 2 or rather 3 characters including Jane Doe and it works well to create a feeling of quiet unease aided by a somewhat closed in feeling of the basement morgue. There are some gross scenes as mentioned earlier given that there is an autopsy taking place but it wasn’t too bad; there were worse scenes in the TV show Hannibal. Definitely one of the better horror movies to come out in recent months. 4 out of 5 creepy corpses.




Vengeful Ghosts and Witches (Movie Reviews)


The Gist: A grieving couple (Barbara Crampton as Anne Sacchetti; Andrew Sensenig as Paul Sacchetti) move to an isolated home in rural New England following the death of their adult son. Anne is certain she can feel the presence of her son in the house and invites her friends (Lisa Marie as May Lewis; Larry Fessenden as Jacob Lewis) who dabble in the supernatural via seances to join them. But their psychic meddling ramps up the ire of the houses angry spirits. Throw in some crazy, murderous townsfolk and set it in the dead of winter and you have the potential for a bloody ghost story.


My Take: I seem to recall lots of good buzz about this flick and that it had the same kind of feel as House of The Devil, which it did but….can’t say I really got into this one. The story certainly is interesting as we learn about the house and vengeful spirits demanding a blood sacrifice every 30 years and the townsfolk who will do whatever they have to, to make sure the blood flows, as long as it is not theirs. The charred ghosts are pretty cool looking, although they don’t get a lot of screen time. I think the acting was a bit of downer. These are not bad actors but there was just something about the way they talked that annoyed me. And once the story got going into the history and the haunting, the movie was at an end. I wanted to know more about the house that was a former mortuary and the townsfolk who treat it with cult like reverence.

Final Thoughts: I wanted to like this movie more but there was just something off about the acting or the dialogue or both that didn’t appeal to me and I was simply expecting something more from the scares. I’m all for setting up atmosphere and slow burn horror but this one was just too slow to get to the goods. 2.5 charred ghosts out of 5.


The Gist: 15 years after the disappearance of Heather Donahue, her younger brother James (James Allen McCune) receives a video showing what appears to be Heather at the Rustin Parr house in the Black Hills. Along with his friends, one of which is filming the events as a project for her film class and 2 Burkittsville locals, they head into the Black Hills in search of answers to the mystery of what happened to Heather and the Blair Witch.

My Take: Minor SPOILERS – Why does James think that after 15 years his sister is still alive and trapped in the Black Hills? I don’t get it. Could it be hope or is this merely a way to get a new group into the trap of the witch and connect it to the original 1999 movie and story. Whatever it is, I’m disappointed. The creepiest moment was the scene in the tent with the injured girl. I won’t get into details but it’s gross and makes you think twice about taking your shoes off to cross a stream. Other than that, there wasn’t much to breed fear. And the friggin’ high pitched screaming again. It’s the same thing that irritated me in the original. It’s just grating. As far as the actual witch goes, I don’t think they should have shown what she/it looks like. Revealing the witch, even minimally, removes some of the eeriness of the story. The way the flick is shot with mini personal cameras that hook onto the ear, is great. Much better than most of the found footage movies that are out there. Yep, can’t think of much else that I enjoyed.

Final Thoughts: While this chapter of the Blair Witch certainly looks great the story behind the flick is odd to me. Ok, so James is hoping to find his sister but it’s a weak story line. There is a good story in the Blair Witch somewhere. The mythology is there but getting that into a found footage flick just doesn’t seem to be a great platform for it. And now I’m going to say it and it’s a very unpopular opinion I’m sure – of the Blair Witch flicks, Book of Shadows is my favourite. Yep, there it is. It takes the mystery of the folklore and puts the witch into the story without screeching or showing too much. So there it is. Blair Witch 2016 get 2 stick men out of 5.


Salem (TV Series)

Theme song Cupid Carries A Gun by Marilyn Manson

The Witches & The Hunters: Janet Montgomery (Mary Sibley); Shane West (John Alden); Seth Gabel (Cotton Mather); Tamzin Merchant (Anne Hale); Xander Berkeley (Magistrate Hale); Iddo Goldberg (Isaac Walton); Ashley Madekwe (Tituba)


First Impressions: Salem is 3 episodes in and thus far, it is pretty good.  As the title suggests, Salem takes place in Salem, Mass. at the start of the witch trials that sparked paranoia, fear, murder and a community turning on its citizens under a threat, led by the word of God, of Satan worshipping witches.  While the true history of the Salem witches was hype and there is no evidence of supernatural influences during that time, the series is taking a very decidedly supernatural approach and portraying the witches as being in league with dark forces from the netherworld.


The series is manipulating history and it’s becoming an interesting tale with some facts mixed in.  It’s kind of a toss up whether or not to dislike the main character Mary Sibley. While she is orchestrating the murder of innocents as sacrifices and because she feels betrayed by her lover John Alden and saw the torture, humiliation and injustice that was inflicted on others in Salem for merely being human, she can also be seen as a kind of sad character because of her feelings of scorn and not being able to let go of the past.  What I’m wondering is how long the storyline can be stretched out beyond one season, let alone the second one that has already been confirmed.

Salem Hag

Final Thoughts:  After all that babble above, Salem is proving to be an interesting foray into witchcraft as it mixes history with supernatural fiction.  It’s not nearly as intense as I’m making it sound but it is a good and dark drama with a touch of sexy horror.  Check out that babe above.


Salem (2014 – TV Series)

Salem 2014

Premiers on WGN America April 20, 2014

The Gist:  Set in the volatile world of 17th century Massachusetts, ‘Salem’ explores what really fueled the town’s infamous witch trials and dares to uncover the dark, supernatural truth hiding behind the veil of this infamous period in American history. In Salem, witches are real, but they are not who or what they seem.  (IMDB: Written by WGN)

Witches & HuntersAzure Parsons (Gloriana); Morgana Shaw (Mab); Janet Montgomery (Mary Sibley); Seth Gabel (Cotton Mather); Xander Berkeley (Magistrate Hale); Shane West (John Alden); Ashley Madekwe (Tituba ); Elise Eberle (Mercy Lewis)

Thoughts: I’m looking forward to giving this one a try and seeing how they develop the story of the Salem Witch Trials and how much supernatural elements take the place of reality.



American Horror Story Coven: The Seven Wonders


Well, here we are at the end of another season.  The Seven Wonders have been completed and a new Supreme has been crowned, or whatever the proper term is for creating a new witch Goddess.  Let’s recap how the finale played out and take a quick look at the season as a whole.

It’s the last episode, of course there are spoilers


With last week’s episode we lost Marie Laveau, Madame Delphine LaLaurie and Fiona Goode leaving Myrtle Snow, Cordelia Goode, Zoe, Madison Montgomery, Queenie and Misty Day as the remaining witches in the coven.   The episode starts out with Stevie Nicks singing something about the Seven Wonders then we head into the opening credits.

Trial 1

We begin with all of pomp and ceremony that you would expect from a group of drama queens.  Cordelia and Myrtle have lots of meaningful things to say about the privilege of performing the Seven Wonders, and then they eat caviar and drink champagne and begin the trials.  I have to say it started out interesting, with plenty of bitchiness provided by Madison and watching the girls’ use the powers but the trials only lasted about half the episode and the climax was somewhat of a disappointment.


The first witch to fail is dear Misty Day.  One of the trials is to venture to the underworld and return by dawn.  Each girl went into their own personal hell but they only showed two of them.  Queenie was in the chicken shack and was the first to make it back to the realm of living.  Of course, she already did that trick last week so nothing new there.  Madison’s hell was being on a live TV version of The Sound of Music and not being the lead – they didn’t show it.  Zoe’s consisted of Kyle breaking up with her over and over which they didn’t show and I could care less.  Misty’s hell was in biology class and being forced to dissect a dead frog but she doesn’t and revives it, then the teacher makes her kill the live creature and this repeats.  Unfortunately, Misty isn’t strong enough to make it back and dies in puff of ashes.

american-horror-story Misty

The Coven morns her for all of a minute then continues on with the trials.  There’s some mind control in which Madison drags Kyle into blah, blah, blah.  The next witch to die is Zoe 🙂  I just don’t like her character.  So the girls are performing the transmutation test, zapping around playing tag outside, ignoring Delia’s warning and Zoe ends up zapping on top of the pointy part of the fence.  In the greenhouse, Queenie is unable to bring her back and Madison flat-out refuses to do it, demanding to be crown Supreme or kiss her ass.  There is much crying from Kyle and Delia as Zoe remains dead.

american-horror-story Zoe

At this point Myrtle finally states that she believes Delia is the next Supreme and convinces her to complete the Seven Wonders.  She catches up to Queenie and Madison easily before beginning the divination test.  Delia finishes it even with Madison berating her the whole time but finally, the super bitch falters as Madison is unable to complete the divination (Queenie doesn’t even get to try it).  All in a huff, Madison storms upstairs and starts packing but doesn’t get far as Kyle is pissed that she wouldn’t bring back Zoe and proceeds to strangle her, which she doesn’t stop with her powers.  Spalding shows up, tells Kyle he is the help and they need to bury the body.


It seems like the trials have come to an end with the exception of one last test.  Delia must perform resurgence or whatever they call it and she does, bringing Zoe back to life.  After Delia passes out and wakes up, she has her eyes back and ta da – Cordelia is the Supreme.


It started to fall apart when Delia began the trials and the rest of the episode just didn’t work for me and left a few plot holes unfilled.  First, let’s address how the girls were demonstrating the abilities of the Supreme without any of them actually being her.  The explanation is reasonable enough – Delia didn’t acknowledge the power that she had and it kind of just rubbed off on the girls making it seem that they were manifesting the powers.  Ok, I’ll give you that.  But then we find out that Fiona is not dead, which if Delia is the new Supreme she should have known because her powers aren’t complete until the current Supreme has died and passed the last of her power to the new Supreme.  Too wordy?  Nah.


So how did Fiona survive the attack from the Axeman?  It didn’t happen.  She planted the memory into his head knowing Delia would find it and do whatever she could to find the new Supreme before Fiona.  Fiona set up finding the new Supreme and getting the Axeman killed by the Coven, then returns to confront Delia and damn, Fiona looks like death.  Here is where you think that Fiona, so desperate to live and be powerful would take the opportunity to kill Delia for the power since she hasn’t shown much love for her daughter.  After much chatting, Fiona dies of natural causes and we get to see her personal hell which is waking up every morning with the Axeman in the country house that he wanted to take her to.  The house smells of catfish and has knotted pine walls (horrifying) and she is stuck there forever.  We do get one last shot of Papa Legba laughing at Fiona’s torture but if she doesn’t have a soul, how does that work since he rejected her deal of immortality a couple of episodes ago?

Papa Legba

Delia is now the full on Supreme with Zoe and Queenie as her council.  Kyle has taken on Spalding’s role as “the help” and Spalding is apparently still in the attic with the baby.  But that’s not all.  This happens after Cordelia goes on national television to proclaim witches with supernatural power exist and invites any girl/woman with potential powers to go to the Coven in New Orléans.  And there is one final death – Myrtle Snow.  She points out to Delia that she killed a sister witch and must suffer the punishment for it by being burned at the stake….again, which Delia reluctantly agrees to. The end of the episode shows hundreds of girls in black lined up down the sidewalk outside the house, Kyle welcoming the new brood and Delia making speech.


Final Thoughts – The Seven Wonders:  This episode started out strong but went sharply downhill when Delia started the Seven Wonders.  I don’t think there could have been a better Supreme but I didn’t like Delia’s outing of the Coven to the world.  Yes, their group was dying with only the 3 of them left but come on; there must be a better way to recruit.  I thought Fiona’s death was too abrupt in the last episode and I really did think she was going to kill Delia and retain the title of Supreme, not wilt and die.

Now comes the bitching about things left unanswered or just plain ignored.  Fiona not having a soul and ending up in hell with Papa Legba as a spectator.  What about the Organization of witch hunters.  When they killed Hank’s father, he implied that there were more branches of his killing club but nothing further came of it. There is a BABY in the attic with a GHOST.  Really, no one has noticed a baby in the house or ghost Spalding?  I thought these were powerful witches and you know, a Supreme.  Madison was a movie star, why is her disappearance glossed over after all the media coverage of the Coven?  And didn’t Madison and Zoe promise themselves or make some sort of pact with a demon to revive Kyle, what’s up with that.


Final Thoughts – Coven Season 3: This season had a lot of promise with the setting of New Orléans, witches and voodoo.  The characters were good, except for Zoe and Kyle (killer vagina, what a horrible power) and the general strife that was faced and the mystery of the new Supreme; all this had potential.  The problem is that it started to fall apart over the last few episodes and then the finale left too many things ignored and went to kind of a silly place with the Coven getting media coverage.  All in all, there were plenty of good parts throughout (zombies on Halloween and the only part that I actually liked Zoe in) but it didn’t maintain and carry through to the end.  Season 4 is slated for October.  What will we get this time: Carnival, Aliens, Demonologists?  We shall see if they can get back to the goodness of Season 1 which drew me into the show and made me love it.


American Horror Story Coven: Go to Hell

Things are coming to a head as the end of Coven approaches with the second to last episode offering some unexpected and violent endings.  Let’s run this down as we prepare for the finale and the naming of the new Supreme tomorrow.


We open this episode with a silent black and white clip of, what I would assume, an original Salem Witch completing the Seven Wonders test.  This provides a good lead up to the finale when the Coven will be performing these tests.  Fiona is telling Queenie about the ritual and it is becoming more and more evident that the Supreme is fading as she looks and acts languid and weak.  Queenie is ready to go but is curious about where Marie Laveau has gone.


Queenie decides to try to find the voodoo queen in the underworld and ends up in the Chicken Shack, her personal hell, and confronts Papa Legba.  Once back in her own realm, she discusses Marie and Delphine with Papa L over hot coco and determines that because Marie is in pieces, she has broken her bargain with the King of the Underworld and this will send her to hell while also rendering Delphine mortal?  I don’t think I really followed how all of this went down but the result is 2 less ladies in the house.

Papa Legba

After Queenie finishes her chat with Papa Legba, she goes to find Delphine who has taken over the historic tours of her home (maiming the tour guide) and is rewriting her history as a kinder one for the tourists.  Queenie arrives at the house and gives Delphine one last chance at redemption for the atrocities she committed but LaLaurie is far from repentant and much to her surprise dies when Queenie cuts her open.  Delphine arrives in hell only to be a helpless witness to the torture of her daughters at the hands of Marie Laveau.  Marie protests against hurting innocents but Papa Legba is there to tell her that her annual sacrifice of babies was far from helping the innocent and forces her to continue the torture.  Two characters dead, who is next?


Cordelia is desperately trying to find Misty Day however she is receiving nothing, no visions, when she touches Misty’s belongings.  Maybe gouging out her own eyes wasn’t the key to regaining her second sight.   After a chat with Fiona in which the Supreme tells her daughter she is ready to die (of course she isn’t), Fiona tells Delia that powers don’t just go away, they are always within us.  Delia touches one of Fiona’s necklaces and low and behold, she has a vision.  But it isn’t from the past, she has a vision of the future and it looks pretty bleak.  All of the girls are dead, she is dead and Fiona is the lone survivor of whatever disaster has befallen the Coven.  Time for Delia to take control.


Her first stop is to have a little chat with her Mother’s lover, the Axeman.  Delia was quite calm as she faced the serial killer/former ghost and she did a damn fine job of messing with his head and convincing him that Fiona doesn’t really love him and is going to leave New Orléans alone.  The Axeman is devastated but he has to know if what Delia told and showed him (she has some wicked mind projection powers) is true.  Fiona arrives and after some banter and fighting, she finally admits that she didn’t love him and was using him because she was needy and vulnerable. Once she kills the new Supreme and has her powers back, she will be Queen of the world again and this shabby man with his shabby dreams will be beneath her.  How do you think he reacts…with his axe.  Is this is truly the end for Fiona Goode?


After her trip to the Axeman, Delia works with Queenie to get Misty Day back after discovering that the swamp witch is buried in a cemetery.  Queenie uses her growing powers to tear open the tomb, then uses her gift of resurgence to breathe life into Misty who is one pissed off woman.

Misty Day

Back at the house, Madison is chatting with Myrtle who is clearly probing at the idea that Madison was involved with Misty’s disappearance.   The truth is close at hand when Zoe and Kyle make their return (damn it).  Their trip to Florida was cut short after Kyle killed a homeless man and Zoe brought him back to life.  She is now convinced that she is the next Supreme and that’s why they came back.  The reunion is cut short when the very pissed off Misty Day bursts into the house and kicks the shit out of Madison.  Another interruption stops the chic fight as a bloody Axeman comes down the stairs and yells at the Coven.  Hey, where did he come from and whose blood is all over the place?


Delia uses her second sight and watches the exchange between Fiona and the Axeman and then watches as he kills her mother with his trusty axe.   The Axeman seems to be out of sorts and is easy prey for a house full of very powerful young witches and one Coven guard dog.  FrankenKyle tackles the Axeman but the girls quickly take over, stating that they don’t need a man’s protection.  Madison starts the festivities using the axe then the rest of the girls join in and the 4 of them stab and hack him to death.


The show closes out with the remaining Coven members hanging Fiona’s portrait, saying kind things about her before retracting those kind words for the truth.  Cordelia declares that all the girls will undergo the trials of the Seven Wonders and a new Supreme will then be named.

Final Thoughts: This was certainly a more interesting episode than the last couple.  I still don’t like the Kyle and Zoe thing and I hope she burns out of the Seven Wonders first (but I don’t think she does).  The ending of Marie Laveau, Madame LaLaurie, the Axeman and Fiona seems to wrap up a lot in preparation for tomorrow’s finale but is Fiona really dead, did Delia prevent the horrific vision she saw or will it play out anyway?  Soon, we shall have all of the answers….


American Horror Story Coven: Protect the Coven


Only 2 episodes left and we are no closer to finding out who the new Supreme is, if there is one.


Let us begin at Nan’s funeral as the coven, including Marie Laveau, have gathered around the casket to mourn.  Misty isn’t there but the ever kind Madison reassures everyone that she has probably just twirled off into the swamp.  Of course no one knows how Nan really drowned until Zoe does a spell and sees Fiona and Marie holding her under the water.  Why is Zoe surprised that they both women had a hand in Nan’s death?  Neither of them has a moral bone in their body.


On the Zoe front, she has a chat with Myrtle Snow in the greenhouse and the motherly Myrtle gives Zoe everything her and Kyle need to leave New Orléans and the coven.  After protesting, Myrtle does convince her that staying is certain death at the hands of Fiona and that she and Kyle will be better off away from the coven.  The last scene ends with the couple on a bus to Orlando.  Sadly, I don’t think they make and head back to the coven which I guess makes sense if Zoe is potentially the next Supreme.  I’m sorry to say it but both of these characters are weak and boring in my opinion.


Queenie returns to the coven after being left for dead by Marie after Hank’s shooting spree.  She is pissed and not alone.  Queenie has put Madame Lalaurie back together and is dragging her around on a leash.  As far where her rage is focused, Queenie is mad at Marie for leaving her for dead, she’s angry with Cordelia for marrying Hank and seems to hold her responsible for the shooting.  She is very mean to Delia who is already fragile from her Mother’s tirade last week, telling her it is also her fault that Nan is dead and Misty is missing.  What happens next doesn’t really come as a surprise.


Poor Delia has been through hell and is definitely not feeling wanted by anyone other than Myrtle.  After losing her second sight and finding out that Hank is a witch hunter, Delia is feeling useless, thanks also to Fiona and Queenie berating her.  How does she think she can make herself useful…by getting the second sight back.  I knew she was going to blind herself again but I didn’t know she was going to use garden shears to do it.  Ouch.  Now we’ll have to wait and see if it worked.


While Zoe and Kyle are running off and Cordelia is mutilating herself, Delphine who has resumed her place as maid in the coven, is longing for the good old days when she was the master and not servant.  We get some flashbacks to her first taste of blood after arriving in New Orleans from Paris.  She is longing to fulfill her bloodlust and does so when the gardener cuts himself and she offers to help him.  Delphine proceeds to take the man to Spalding’s attic and torture and kill him. Much to her surprise, Spalding shows up and tells Delphine that he knows how to kill Marie but first she must bring him….a doll (he is so weird) which she does and he gives Delphine the magic pills that will render Marie mortal and killable – Benadryl.  Needless to say, the pills don’t work but I will get to that in a moment.


First, let’s see what Fiona has been up to.  She is back in the Axeman’s bed and is happier than ever with the man she loves and she has found a powerful ally in Marie who will help kill the coven and protect her position.  It’s just the pesky Organization that is interfering with her remaining the ultimate witch.  Fiona and Marie agree to meet with the Organization to come to terms and halt the bloodshed and the financial ruin that the witches have caused them.  The Organization is in for a surprise when the Axeman starts swinging, killing all the big wigs of the Organization.  Hank’s father is the last to die but warns Fiona that the rest of the Organization will come after them.

AHS Coven

After the bloody afternoon, Marie is celebrating and Delphine slips some of the antihistamine into her drink.  Once Marie is loopy, Delphine stabs her in the heart and is unpleasantly surprised that the voodoo queen is still immortal.  Marie chases Delphine but Spalding shows up and pushes her down the stairs.  What is Delphine to do with a pissed off immortal?  Spalding suggests she buries the voodoo queen somewhere she will never be able to escape.   And now Spalding has a real baby.  I forgot about the baby Marie kidnapped from the hospital to be the sacrifice for Papa Legba.  I’m thinking maybe the sacrifice would have been a mercy instead of the being a live doll for the crazy ghost Spalding.

Final Thoughts:  Overall, this episode was merely alright.  Not spectacular but full of violence and blood and lacking any real scares.  I’m kind of glad there are only 2 episodes as it seems that the time has come for it to end and to answer the question of who will be the Supreme or Supremes.


American Horror Story Coven: The Magical Delights of Stevie Nicks

AHS Coven

Oh my, it has been awhile but AHS is back with Episode 10, leaving only 3 left for this season.  And how did we progress this week?


As you can guess, Stevie Nicks is in this episode.  While some people are all a flutter, I didn’t care for the cameo.  I realize that she is the inspiration for Misty Day but I could have done without the musical interludes.  Anyway, there is speculation that Misty is the new Supreme even though Nan and Madison have displayed new and improved powers that would make one think that one of them might be the new Supreme.


Madison is pissed that Misty is getting all the attention and being toted as the new queen bitch even though she has not gone through the 7 wonders yet.  The pair decide to follow a funeral procession and end up in the cemetery where Madison shows Misty that she is not the only one with the power of resurgence.  Madison resurrects a man who go a wondering while the girls have a heart to heart.  Earlier in the episode, Stevie Nicks made her appearance as the White Witch, singing some songs and gave Misty her shawl.  While in the cemetery, Madison convinces Misty to stop being an imitation of Stevie and to toss the shawl into vacated casket.  Silly Misty ends up getting knocked out by Madison and buried in a mausoleum.  One would think that the Supreme or even a witch with her power won’t be kept in there long and Misty may be back with a vengeance to retrieve her shawl that Madison stole or just to, you know, kill the bitch.


So if there is a possibility of Madison and Misty being the new Supreme but what about the other girls?  Zoe hasn’t really contributed anything in a while other than killing Spalding and fucking Kyle, so I’m not sure what her future holds but if the events of this episode are a fortune-teller, death is in the future or maybe she is the Supreme and just keeping it hidden.  That leaves Nan as it is presumed that Queenie is dead after Hank’s assault on the voodoos.  Nan is still hot for neighbor boy Luke but is angry and devastated when she finds out he is dead.  Given Nan’s abilities, she is able to discover that his Mother, Joan, killed him.  Nan gets her revenge by forcing her to drink bleach, to ‘cleanse’ herself.  When I say she forced her to do it, I mean she used her new telekinetic powers to hold Zoe back and to take control of Joan’s body.  These witches are nasty. Nan’s new-found rage and power don’t last long as she pisses off Marie Laveau but I will get to that in a moment as it ties in with the storyline for the Voodoo Queen and the Supreme.

Marie-and-FionaAnd what have Fiona and Marie been up to this week.  Well, they are now best friends so much so that Marie shares with Fiona how she became immortal.  She summoned Papa Legba and traded her soul, and her newborn baby, for immortality. Every year on the anniversary of her becoming immortal, she must pay Papa Legba for the gift he gave her and the price is an innocent soul.  Fiona is ok with that price and willingly to sacrifice her daughter to stop aging and stop dying.  I must note here that Fiona is pissed at Cordelia for letting Hank into the coven and by extension making them vulnerable to the Organization.  So Fiona is only too willing to kill Cordelia for her oversight.  Cordelia is shattered and feeling very sorry for herself.  I wonder how she will get Fiona’s forgiveness.  It’s not by being sacrificed to Papa Legba.  He answers Fiona’s summons but breaks the deal when he discovers she has no soul.  Huh.  Kind of makes sense given all the sins she has committed.  This pisses her because now she is still dying, still aging and still going to be dethroned as Supreme.  Solution?  Kill all the would be Supremes.  After Nan finds Marie’s sacrifice to Papa Legba (a new-born baby), Marie and Fiona decide that the baby should live and Nan can be this year’s innocent sacrifice.  Papa Legba shows up after they drown Nan and says, she wasn’t innocent, Fiona convinces him that she was close enough and Papa and Nan wonder into the underworld together.

Papa Legba

Final Thoughts: This episode was alright but it certainly wasn’t one of the best.  It felt like there was too much filler and only about 20 minutes of interesting storytelling.  Watching Cordelia hate herself and Myrtle play that creepy instrument was boring and they could have done without the musical stylings of Stevie Nicks. Watching Marie and Fiona team up was good as the evilness flowed through and Papa Legba was pretty friggin’ cool.  I wasn’t surprised Nan died or that Madison is jealous of Misty.  I am seriously wondering if they are all somehow the new Supreme given that they have shown varied powers that the Supreme possess.  I guess we’ll find out in 3 episodes.


American Horror Story Coven: The Dead


So what’s the haps with the Salem Witches of New Orleans….threesomes, murder, Cordelia sees the truth about her mother, the Axeman cometh indeed and Queenie finds her way.

Yeah there’s SPOILERS


Madison, once the party girl, is now full on goth angst as she struggles with the repercussions of being resurrected.  She can’t feel anything anymore and is empty and lost but don’t fret, she finds a way to cope,  Where is Kyle…oh there he is still chained up in the greenhouse and Zoe is going to try to kill him again. Or not.  After he very easily gets the gun away from her, he is going to shoot himself but Zoe stops him. Whatever.  Oh, right I was talking about Madison and how she finds feeling again; by fucking Kyle of course.  FrakenKyle doesn’t object but Zoe seems to have a little issue with it when she walks in on them.  Oops.


What is Zoe’s reaction to finding her zombie crush with her reanimated sister witch? Murder.  Zoe was able to give Spalding back his tongue, which was being kept magically preserved with a spell done by Myrtle Snow but the red-haired witch wasn’t strong enough to complete the spell to put it back in Spalding -Zoe is though.  She gets him to confess that it was Fiona that killed Madison and she stabs and kills him. Damn that Zoe is turning into a mini Fiona.  And how does she cope with committing murder?  She doesn’t seem phased by it at all.  She is more taken aback when Madison tells her that if she has sex with Kyle it probably won’t kill him because he’s already dead.  And just for good measure, Madison will join in.


Seriously, where are all the adults that are supposed to watching or and teaching these girls?  After Hank drunk dials Cordelia, she finds Madison in the house and when Madison touches her,  Cordelia sees Fiona killing the girl.  The claws come out as Cordelia enlists Zoe’s help in a witch hunt to kill Fiona. The Supreme is otherwise engaged this week banging the Axeman after consuming many drinks and after he confesses that he has watched her since she was young girl in the house. Creepy.  I’m not sure what the angle is here but maybe with Cordelia plotting to kill Fiona, the Axeman is going to help the Supreme keep her throne and maybe Hank will show up with his arsenal and help Cordelia.  I think Hank actually loves her and won’t try to kill her.  I don’t know, I’m just making this up as I go.


Lastly, we have Queenie who continues to bond with Delphine LaLaurie.  The two are obviously an unlikely pair but for some reason Queenie is feeling like an outcast from the pretty white witches.  After a late night burger run, Queenie decides to head over to Marie Laveau who welcomes her and tells the young witch she can apart of team voodoo, where she belongs but she must prove herself first by bringing Delphine to the voodoo queen.  There is hesitation until Delphine tells Queenie the worst thing she ever did.  Killing the newborn son of a slave her husband was screwing (raping more likely) leading to the young woman’s suicide.  That’s, that.  Queenie manipulates Delphine to Marie’s hair salon, puts her in a cage and then torture ensues.  The final scene is of Marie painting her face with blood, just like Delphine did with the infant’s blood.


Final Thoughts:  First off, where was Nan this episode? Maybe being nurse to the injured neighbour boy and why hasn’t his mother come storming to the house in search of him?  There was also no Misty Day or Myrtle Snow buried in dirt.  I’m sure this will be coming.  This wasn’t a perfect episode but there was some further character development, for Zoe at least.  Not the zombie threesome but with her killing Spalding and Cordelia confiding in her about her plans to kill Fiona.  I was kind of expecting Hank to storm the coven but we only had a brief view of what he plans to use to wipe out the witches.  The Queenie stuff seems to have come out of nowhere with her feelings of alienation from the others but I’m glad she went Marie Laveau and think she could be a very powerful witch/voodoo guru.  Enough with FrankenKyle.  I don’t like his story or that Madison is now apart of it.  And the Axeman.  I thought the prolonged scene of him and Fiona was kind of dull but I am interested to see how he will play into the events for the remainder of the season. Perhaps the only ally for Fiona.


American Horror Story Coven: The Replacements


Young Fiona, a new supreme and disturbing sexual encounters.  Welcome to the Coven.

Yeah, there’s going to be spoilers

Well, this episode certainly had some shocking moments and pushed the bounds of morality.  I know what you’re thinking; AHS isn’t known for doing such things (that is pure sarcasm).  The opening scene takes place in 1971 when Fiona was a young woman, about the same age as Madison and even kind of looked like her.  She is having a polite conversation with the Supreme at that time but Fiona knows she is next in line and decides not to wait for the power.  She slits the Supreme’s throat which is witnessed by Spalding (Denis O’Hare).  There hasn’t been much character development for him so far but that night is clearly when he lost tongue at Fiona’s hand.  Bitch. Jump to present day and Fiona is still desperately searching for youth, even going so far as to consult on having her face peeled away, then reattached tighter.  Too bad she is dying and her body can’t handle the procedure.  Poor Fiona.  Her days as the Supreme are numbered but who could possibly take her place…let’s see what Madison and Nan are up to.

American Horror Story -

The school has new neighbours.  A highly religious woman played by Patti Lupone and her young, handsome son who gets the attention of the girls when he takes his shirt during the move and Nan, Queenie and Madison take in the show.  Later, Nan and Madison welcome the pair to the neighbourhood; Nan bakes a cake and Madison puts on a tiny dress to show off her talents.  The young man is more interested in Nan, irking Madison but soon Mommy shows up and is not pleased with the slutty Madison.  Madison reveals her powers by mentally throwing a knife near her head then setting the curtains on fire as she leaves.  A new ability for the young witch.  It becomes clear to Fiona that Madison is the next Supreme when Patti Lupone (I can’t remember her name in the show) visits the school and tells Fiona what happened.  Fiona then takes Madison as her protégé, gaining her trust, getting her drunk and manipulating the young woman to kill her.  Fiona tells her that she dying, her energy and power is being drained away by Madison because she is the next Supreme.  Fiona shares her tale of killing the previous Supreme for the power and how she wasted it all, then pulls a knife and tells Madison to kill her, take the power and put Fiona out of her misery because she is dying.  A struggle ensues and Fiona ends up ‘accidently’ killing Madison as Spalding watches again, smiling.  Fiona’s final words for the episode: “This Coven doesn’t need a Supreme, it needs a new rug.”


So where is all of this deviant sex I promised?  Let’s start that unpleasantness with Zoe.  She goes to visit Kyle’s Mom and finds the woman an absolute mess, smoking pot and ready to hang herself because she can’t live without Kyle.  It’s not sweet.  Zoe heads to the swamp to take Kyle home but not before Misty Day gets upset that no one wants to listen to Fleetwood Mac with her.  Zoe goes on to leave Kyle on his mother’s doorstep and runs away.  Things go badly after that for him.  First his Mother interrupts his shower, umm….odd, then she curls in bed with him, comments how his body is different and not him then, well, it’s incest and disgusting and it’s rape.  But Kyle gets his revenge later by bashing her skull nearly flat with a trophy just in time for Zoe to show up for dinner.


But that’s not all; what are Queenie and Madame LaLaurie up to?  Fiona has order Delphine to be Queenie’s slave because of her racial intolerance and Queenie loves it.  Later in the evening the pair are in the kitchen as Delphine is cooking on command when she suddenly freaks out after seeing the Minotaur outside.  Queenie has a look, sees what it is then discovers that Delphine is the sadistic Madame LaLaurie and the Minotaur is her handy work.  This is where things get weird…weirder.  Despite how Queenie feels about Madame LaLaurie, she helps her get away and lures the Minotaur into the greenhouse.  I’m not sure what the real motivation is behind what happens next or it is just straight fucked up.  Queenie starts to masturbate and tell the Minotaur about just wanting to be loved.  The creature moves behind her, braces her arm with one of it’s hand/hoof and covers her mouth with the other and she screams.  I don’t have much else to say about that other than, what just happened?


There’s some stuff with Cordelia this episode as well.  She is infertile and can’t have any children, her spell didn’t work but a doctor’s diagnosis isn’t going to stop her and she heads to Marie Laveau for a fertility spell with a 100% success rate and $50,000.00 price tag.  Cordelia is all for it but Marie refuses to do it because she is Fiona’s daughter, leaving her devastated.  I’m sure there must be something developing with this storyline, something with Marie Laveau and Cordelia and Fiona but I don’t know yet.


Final Thoughts:  I have to say that Fiona is my favourite part of this season and the Zoe/Kyle storyline is my least favourite.  I’m also not crazy about Cordelia but if her and Marie get together to go after Fiona, it might get more interesting.  I wasn’t surprised by Madison dying; you could tell that Fiona was going down that road.  She is not so selfless and willing to give up her power for someone else.  I really could have done without the incest stuff (especially after watching the most recent SOA) and is sex with a minotaur bestiality?  Did Queenie project what was happening to her onto Delphine with her voodoo doll powers?  I’m not even sure what happened with Queenie and the Minotaur. This was an episode that shows how American Horror Story continues to push the envelope and continues to be engaging and entertaining while making you go ewww!!!