V/H/S (2012)
The Gist: Read below
The Players: Don’t know, don’t care
My Take: What to say about this flick? I’ve heard many good things about it and seen a lot of positive reviews and I wonder why and why a sequel is being made. What am I missing? Parts of it were dull and difficult to watch (talk about your unsteady cam) while other parts had potential to be good but didn’t deliver.
This is a found footage movie that has found footage mini movies within it. Does that make sense? A bunch of dickheads run around breaking shit, molesting women and capture it all on film. They are hired by someone to break into a house and recover a video tape (yes tape not disc) with something truly amazing on it. They enter a seemingly abandoned house and start searching for the tape only to come across some dead dude in a room with a TV playing snow and tapes strewn about. The guys split up with one staying in the room to go through the tapes. Now we have the movie within the movie as the camera pans to the TV screen and we get to watch the tapes.
The first one we watch is terrible as the camera is constantly bobbing and spinning around making it nearly impossible to watch. I made it through to see what the story was all about but it wasn’t very interesting (more guys being dicks and suffering for it) but I continued to the next one which has a couple travelling through the US and recording their exploits. It was so freaking boring that I shut off the movie altogether and didn’t bother watching the rest for about month. I had been off work very ill and not really able to do anything but lie in pain on the couch and decided, why not add to my torture and resumed watching V/H/S.
I made it through the rest of the flick and all I can say is that there was about 15 minutes of it that I actually enjoyed. The one story that I did like was about four guys who go to a Halloween party at a stranger’s house only to encounter some weird shit involving a girl tied up in the attic and a bunch of guys cutting her and spouting religious nonsense. Some poltergeist stuff happens and they learn their lesson about helping damsels in distress.
Not scary or raw. Sinister was the scariest movie of 2012
Final Thoughts: I tried to like this flick, wanted to like it after all the good things I have heard but I just couldn’t. The one story was good but the rest were dull and just too nauseating to watch; motion sickness, not scary or gory. There is a sequel coming out, DVD I think, and from what I’ve seen this one actually looks like it might be better. I will wait until it comes to Netflix before I try it. As for V/H/S, give this one a pass or take some Gravol and caffeine pills before trying to watch it.
Dawning Creates 